McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
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