If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
