She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize