it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
