Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
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