Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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