Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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