I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize