He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
