so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Randomize
