Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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