in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We have so much sex to catch up on
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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