champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
