yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Boobs speak an international language.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
