thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
