I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
