So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
