This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
