Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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