I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize