All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
