I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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