from now on my penis is your penis
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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