some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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