he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
