Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
