am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
