We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
