So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
