you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Randomize