if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
