Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
