Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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