Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
