you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
