after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm at about main and main street
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
