with your own penis?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize