is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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