I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
