in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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