Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
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