YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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