i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
