we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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