He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
