please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
