my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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