I'm sorry my penis didn't work
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
