Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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