I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
