you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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