We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
