Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
