Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
