i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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