Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I need moral support for this bender
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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