I smell stomach acid.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
