the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
