Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
