I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He shit in the fireplace
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
