Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
