Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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