Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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